Gonna Love You Like There's No Tomorrow
by Rox3l
Summary: Just because you love someone doesn't mean that it is enough to make you want to make things work anymore. AkuRoku. Oneshot. Lemon. Kind of a sad fic. R&R.


Rox3l: Hey guys, I know I promised you another chapter of Let's Talk About Sex, Baby but I just hit really bad writers block on that, I think it's all the smut and so little plot. ^^;

This was just something small that I wanted to get out. Maybe now I can try to eek out the third chapter of sex. Let hope so!

Enjoy.

~O~

Axel stood in the foyer of the apartment leaning his forehead against the glass watching for Roxas' car to pull into the lot. It was half past four when he spotted the little blue car coming down the street, his heart contracted painfully. This was it. He was leaving. All his things were packed and he had made plans for Demyx to pick him up at six. Now he just had to tell Roxas that this was it, it was for real this time. No more talk. No more saying he was going to leave and not. He could do this.

Then why did he feel like he was about to throw up?

He ran his hand over his face and moved away from the window as he watched Roxas get out of his car and head toward the building door. Feeling like a coward Axel retreated into the living room, leaving his belongs stacked by the door for Roxas to find. His heart was pounding against his ribs as he waited to hear the key in the lock. He couldn't believe how hard this was. He had talked about it, threatened it for years and now that it was actually happening he felt like he couldn't do it.

The door opened and Axel was sure that his heart truly skipped at least five beats and was going to stop. He gripped onto the couch cushions so hard that his knuckles turned white. His blood thundering in his ears. This was it.

". . .Axel?" came the hesitant call from the door.

"I'm in here."

Was the reply that Axel called back, smoothing his hand threw his hair trying to calm his nerves. Roxas inched his way into the doorway of the living room and gave Axel wary eyes.

"Why is all your stuff packed?" he asked very softly.

Axel took a deep breath and it took all his courage to look up at his lover. "I'm leaving."

Roxas grabbed onto the wood of the door frame. "W-what?"

Sighing Axel folded his fingers together, "We both know this isn't working anymore, Rox. And please don't act like I don't know about him. I need to move on."

"Axel. . ." Roxas whispered his eyes filling with tears. "I don't want to lose you."

"But you won't give him up either." Axel countered. "It's been three years and I can't live like this anymore. I love you so much, but I don't love you enough to let you keep destroy me."

"Axel, please." Roxas whimpered. "Don't leave me."

Axel's heart ached, but he made no move to comfort Roxas. This was how it always went. He would threaten to leave, Roxas would cry, he wouldn't go and everything would start all over. The pain of waiting around for Roxas to get home. Sometimes three, four hours after his shift at work had ended. Yet he would be so happy when Roxas would finally get home that he couldn't stay mad at him. Everything would be good, until the next time Roxas left to see him.

Roxas took a slow step toward Axel, his eyes were red and his face was streaked. He fell to his knees in front of Axel and placed his forehead against Axel's knee. He begged. Begged like a child, like someone who knew what they were wishing for wasn't going to come. Axel couldn't take it. He bent down and scooped Roxas into his arms. Roxas wrapped his small arms tightly around Axel's neck and sobbed into his shoulder.

Axel said nothing, rocking the younger man as he cried. After about 15 minutes Roxas was quite in his arms and pulled back, looking up at his lover. Axel looked down at him and his heart caught in his throat. Tears threatening at the back of his eyes, but he fought them off. He had made up his mind, and for once, for once he wasn't going back on it. He needed to live his life, and live it with someone that wanted to be with him. Just him.

Roxas took a breath and laid his head on Axel's shoulder. Axel kissed the top of his head and pulled the smaller up onto the sofa. Roxas complied, letting himself be tucked under the bigger man. Axel kissed his forehead, his cheek, his nose, before finally coming to his lips. He places a soft chaste kiss on them. Roxas tightened his hands on Axel's shoulders and pulled him down into a deep kiss. It was all tongue and teeth and want. Axel shivered. The sex with Roxas was always fucking amasing, no matter what else was falling apart the sex never stopped being wonderful.

Axel broke the kiss and attacked Roxas' throat. His weak spot. The younger threw his head back and let out a moan as Axel bit at the flesh. The red head grinned as Roxas squirmed under him rubbing himself shamelessly against Axel's hip. Axel pinned him down and rubbed against him. Roxas groaned and grabbed at Axel's ass, trying to pull him closer. Rearing up Axel pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it away and undoing his pants,tossing them in a different direction. He then pulled Roxas' pants and boxers off before pinning him back to the couch.

Roxas arched at the feeling of flesh on flesh. Axel flashed that grin again and rubbed his cock against Roxas', making the smaller writhe. This was one of Axel's favorite games. He knew Roxas's body inside and out, knew how to make him respond, to make his scream. Axel liked having that kind of power over another. He sat back and began toying with Rox's nipples, making them harden into little pink buds. The blonde's breath hitched, and he pressed the side of his face into the sofa. Axel leaned down and gave the left nipple a few flicks of the tongue before taking it into his mouth and rolling it around, sucking on it.

Roxas cried out at the feeling and buried his fingers into Axel's long red tresses. Swapping sides Axel repeated the action, loving the way Roxas responded to something so small. He knew all the right things to do to get Roxas' body overly sensitive to touch, and a little nipple play was always an excellent , there were two ways he could go from here. He could either tease Roxas by stop touch him sexually (which the sex after would be rough and wild) or he could play with his cock (and the sex would be less urgent, more loving.)

Axel slipped a little further down the couch and took Roxas into his mouth. Roxas' entire body shuddered and his breath caught in his throat. Taking in the reaction he received Axel began to bob his head, sucking on the firm flesh, running his tongue along the little bundle of nerves just under the head. He wrapped his hand around the base, so that he didn't have to worry about taking the whole thing into his mouth. Axel focused on the head of Roxas' penis, licking it, mouthing over it, playing with it until small beads of pre-come were leaking out and he could feel Roxas' erection start to quiver.

Sitting up he smiled down at Roxas, who looked sinful splayed against the black of the cushions. This was what he stayed for, the look of pure love in those blue eyes. Axel shut his eyes, he didn't want to see that look. He couldn't turn back now. He didn't think that he would be able to take it. This was not the way that he wanted to live his life. He didn't want to have to keep worrying about where Roxas was and what he was doing while he was gone for so long each day.

Opening his eyes he looked down at the body under him and pulled Rox's legs up. Spitting into his hand he slipped a finger into the tight right of Roxas' anus. Roxas made a small sound of discomfort and reached his hand down to take hold of his own erection. He was the type that needed manual stimulation to enjoy anal. Axel worked his finger in and out of him for a moment, then added a second finger. Roxas moaned at that and jerked at his length a little harder. When Axel was sure that Roxas was ready he pulled his fingers out and flipped Roxas onto his stomach, pulling him onto his knees.

The blonde's hand immediately went back to his own flesh, knowing that this was usually a bit uncomfortable. Axel pressed the head of his cock against that small ring of muscle and gentle pushed, willing it to open to him. Roxas made a small noise as the tip of the head started to penetrate him. It was a slow process, but after a little while Axel's cock was inside Roxas and the taller began a slow pace. In and out. In and out. frustrated with the slow pace, Roxas pushed back, impailing himself. Axel groaned at the feeling and picked up the pace of his thrusts. Soon he was all but slamming into the blonde, making his scream and jerk on his flesh roughly.

"I'm close,"Roxas choked biting at the skin of his wrist.

Axel moan loudly, pulling Roxas' rump against him furiously. Suddenly, Roxas stiffened and cried out, his seed splashing onto the sofa in arch after arch. Axel wasn't far behind, he threw his head back and let out a loud series of grunts as his hips jerked. He pulled Roxas against him so that he didn't lay in the puddle that he had just made. Roxas cuddled back against him and they just sat there for a few minutes. the Roxas slipped from the embrace and headed for the bathroom. Axel sat there for a second then got up and followed.

Guilt was chewing in the pit of his stomach. Roxas probably thought that things were going to go back to the way they were again, but that wasn't happening this time. His heart ached, he couldn't imagine his life without Roxas in it, but he was at his ropes end. This was no way to live, no way for Roxas to treat the man he 'loved.' Axel knew all this, knew that he wanted out, but that small voice in the back of his mind still spoke up and told him to stay. That maybe this time things really would change. Axel firmly told that voice to shut the fuck up. He was smarter then that. If things were going to changed they would have done it by now. This was the only way.

Roxas chattering away as he stood in front of the mirror made Axel's stomach hurt all the more. He lurked in the doorway and watched the blonde, saying nothing. After a few minutes of not getting a response Roxas furrowed his brow and turned toward the redhead.

"Axel?"

Axel just stared at him for a long time.

Understanding started to spread it's way over Roxas' face. His arms dropped limp at his sides as he struggled to voice the dread that was in his eyes.

"You're. . .you're still leaving. . .aren't you?" he choked.

Axel just nodded, his throat tight and eyes hot. He tried to tell Roxas with his eyes that he had not come to this decision lightly. That he had really tired these last few years to be okay with how things were, but he just couldn't. He was the kind of person that needed to be someone's one and only.

"I love you," Roxas whispered as tears dripped from his cerulean eyes.

"I love you too," Axel croaked a single tear sliding down his cheek.

Roxas bit his lip so hard it turned white, "I'm sorry, Axel. I'm so, so sorry. . ." he sobbed. "For everything," Roxas let his knees give out and crumpled to the floor sobbing into his hands.

Axel went to him and pulling him into his arms. Roxas clung to him and apologized, over and over again until he couldn't form words. Axel felt terrible, he hated to cause Roxas this kind of pain, even after all that had happened over the last three years, he still loved the boy in his arms. Still loved him, wanted him to be happy. He felt a bit like a fool for loving him so much after all the pain that Roxas had put _him_ threw. But he couldn't help the way his heart felt, and with Roxas there is his arms bawling his eyes out, it_ ached_.

Axel pressed his lips against Roxas' temple, "_We're like fire and gasoline, I'm no good for you, You're no good for me_."

Roxas' sobs caught in his throat at the lyrics. Axel sang the chorus to him all the time when they had an 'I'm leaving' fight. Except for this time, Axel really was leaving. He couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. Nothing seemed real as Axel stood up, leaving him on the bathroom floor. He vaguely heard the doorbell ring and the apartment door open, but it all fell away as he watch Axel turn to walk away.

"Axel."

He turned and looked down at his little ex lover.

"I really do love you."

Axel's face went sad, "It's not enough, Roxas. It's just not enough."

Roxas felt like someone had slammed his face into a wall as he watched helplessly as Axel turned away again an walked down the hallway. He sat there for almost ten minutes after the door shut before he realized that this really was for real. Axel had packed all of his things and left. He jumped to his feet, not caring that he was naked and ran to the door. He flung it open to an empty hallway. He turn on the balls of his feet and dashed into his bedroom reemerging pulling on a pair of jeans as he ran out the of apartment and down the stairs. He flung open the building door and raced for all he was worth into the parking lot.

It was empty.

Axel was gone, really gone.

Pain shot though his chest and tears blurred his vision as he stumbled back into the building and crawled up the stairs to his apartment door where he collapsed. He had ruined everything. Everything. How could he have done this? How could he have been so stupid as to think that Axel wouldn't actually leave him at some point?

"_Tomorrow, I'm gonna leave here. Yea, I'm gonna let you go and walk away like every day I said I would_." Roxas choked on the lyrics as he curled up on his side in the hallway.


End file.
